Photo by Lauren Manning via Flickr Creative Commons

Photo by Lauren Manning via Flickr Creative Commons

As 2015 draws to a close, I’m confronted with the fact that I have no idea what the next four months of my life are going to look like.

I am looking for internship opportunities in town, and if I can get paid to do drama therapy, the other work I’m doing right now might shift or drop off in the process. Because drama therapy workshops take a lot of brain power – especially right now anyway – it’s hard not to feel scattered trying to keep up with planning several simultaneously while also doing reading/research on techniques and juggling multiple part-time jobs.

My brain feels very full.

But I’m hoping to start making some money so that I can pay for taking workshops to learn new techniques plus travel expenses for conferences and such related to this work. Plus, you know, be able to actually pay on my student loans and pay off my credit card (again).

In addition to all of that, my current housing situation is in flux at the moment. Looking to find a house to rent with my queerplatonic life partner in the spring, but have no way of knowing when exactly we will find the right fit and be able to jump on it. Plus, my current roommate is also looking at houses, so I may end up having to move into a guest room for a bit before I find where I will be living next if that happens first. I’m tempted to just start boxing up my books and tossing out old papers just so I can feel like I’m doing something that’s not waiting, and so that it’s not as stressful to get everything packed when I do have to move.

Also having issues with my laptop and the Internet. I’m not savvy enough to know what’s wrong and why it will work fine on one wi-fi network but not load a webpage on another. But it means that I keep having to go to coffee shops to work (hence part of why my posting here has been more intermittent of late). I don’t have money to burn buying coffee or tea to rent space at a table several times a week, though, either. But there are some things it’s just too annoying to try to accomplish via Android apps.

There’s also some stuff going on that I can’t really talk about here, but I will just say that I’ve been having to spend a lot of time dealing with other issues which makes it hard for me to get all the work I need to do done as well as self-care to deal adequately with the additional stress.

I’ve been so stressed these last few weeks, plus the exercise studio right by my house closing down that I also haven’t been as regular at yoga as I could be. I need to make sure I go this week.

I’m trying to be all Zen about everything and trust the Universe, but sometimes it feels harder than at other times. A stressful and unstable housing situation makes it hard to work, but I need to make extra money to cover the cost of moving. Having big changes happen in both areas at once is maximizing the stress, even if the change in both areas will ultimately be positive.

I don’t know what’s best. I don’t know what is the least worst option for the next few months which will allow me to get done what I need to do. At least I finally got my new passion planner in the right size, so maybe that will help me chop some of this uncertainty down into what feels like manageable steps.

I will do my best to keep posting here as I have been, but if things are a little more erratic than usual you know why. I have no dearth of ideas, but the time and ability to write the posts is limited of late.

Two workshops for sure in planning stages for the spring, and hopefully some others will come to fruition as well. Now it’s just a matter of seeing how many projects I can have going at once and still keep them straight. Time will tell.

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