Kate Bornstein has had a profound effect on my life in a way she may never know (unless I decide to get brave and tweet this post @ her). In September, I saw Kate Bornstein is a Queer and Pleasant Danger as a part of the Austin Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. In the film, […]
What’s in a Name?
As it’s gotten closer to Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and love and labels. My partner and I are polyamorous. But not in the sense of the traditional poly narrative. Polyamory seems to have become more prominent in the cultural consciousness of late, but a lot of our discussions about it still […]
Lactate Intolerance
2015 is a bad time to be a worker. Not only is the minimum wage well below a living wage, but corporations seem determined to erode the rights of laborers wherever and however they can, and the government keeps siding with them. In December, the Supreme Court ruled 9-0 in favor of Amazon, saying that […]
Planning the Plan
My Passion Planner came in the mail yesterday. Finally! They’ve been having a lot of shipping issues, and I was doing my best to be patient, but I could not have lasted much longer with only a few pieces of computer paper as my planner. I have too much to do! And boy, is that […]
Cooking for One
I know that when I first started cooking for myself in college, it was usually something like boxed rice a roni or mac n cheese + frozen vegetable + canned beans or tuna or salmon most of the time. Needless to say, I’ve come a long way.
And yes, it’s true that there isn’t much in the way of compelling recipes for one and that making a recipe that feeds 6-8 feed only one instead is not worth the effort. But that doesn’t have to mean you’re relegated to take out, delivery, and wasted food.
I’ve been cooking for myself for almost ten years now, and I promise, it gets better. Like any other skill – practice makes perfect.
Depression and Inertia
Once I’m feeling overwhelmed, it starts to feel like nothing will ever change and my options for making a difference in my own life are limited. All I can think of are the reasons I can’t do things or why even if I tried it wouldn’t matter because of course I’m just a failure and incompetent at life.
In other words, my brain lies to me.
Stress also makes me feel tired and fatigued, which makes me able to do less because I lack the mental and/or physical energy.
Which only feeds the cycle more.
Because my brain can then say, “See? You can’t even do your laundry or keep up with the dishes or clean the cat box. How will you ever manage X, Y, or Z?”
Then, the stress and guilt from not being able to do even the simplest adult tasks piles onto my other stress and makes me feel even more that I ought to just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head forever.
Money Troubles Swing Both Ways
Someone told me that when poor people actually manage to have money, they don’t know what to do with it and it becomes a source of stress. That’s kind of how I feel right now.
I have a couple hundred dollars in my bank account somehow, and I will get another couple hundred before the end of the month.
About half of that I will need to help cover rent and bills at the first of the month, but I’m so used to not having any money, or having just enough to buy gas and groceries that it’s still weird.
Things I Want
I feel like the first step toward achieving a goal is to state it in some concrete way. I’m still waiting for my Passion Planner in the mail, so I might as well do it here for now. Here are some things I want, either for 2015 or just the future in general: * To […]
Tick Tock
I don’t have a maternal instinct. I hardly know how to talk to kids, let alone raise one. Besides that, I have a lot of things I want to do with my life, and children don’t factor into that.
In a lot of ways, having kids is still the default setting for women. But it shouldn’t be. The response to a woman saying she doesn’t want children shouldn’t be a wink and the word “yet.”
It just really gets under my skin. Having some straight, married woman tell me that I’ll probably decide I want children sometime in the next ten years.
NYE Thoughts
Sometimes nothing can prepare you for the pain of stepping outside the cultural script.
But being able to tell your partner that they’re more important to you than New Year’s Eve, and to hear the same…. that’s worth something. That’s worth a lot. Even if it’s not a midnight kiss.
In a culture which tries to sell us the perfect holiday picture, we can’t lose sight of the fact that the holidays are rarely perfect, even if you’re monogamous.
At the end of the day, I want a relationship, not a fantasy. I want to love an imperfect person and be imperfectly loved in return.