I attended a psychodrama workshop two weeks ago. It was a transformative experience for me, and I keep trying to think of a way to consolidate it here, but I can’t. Drama therapy is experiential, and reading about psychodrama myself didn’t prepare me for how powerful it would turn out to be. Long story short, […]
I’m not sure why I didn’t make the connection when I was watching Jessica Jones. But I think all superhero stories are an allegory for abuse. Something really fucked up and bad happened to you. Something that should have killed you. Something that would have killed anyone else. Only it didn’t. Instead, it gave you […]
Possibly one of the most frustrating things about mental illness is never being able to trust your perceptions and reactions to stimulus. Never knowing if a reaction is due to your mental illness or an appropriate response to stress. There will always be this little voice asking whether or not someone “normal” would be reacting […]
What appears at first glance to be a party. Upon closer observation, among those in attendance are actually depression, anxiety, insomnia, PTSD, menstrual difficulties, and, of course, the owner of the house. Since the audience has arrived in medias res, we don’t know which guest arrived first. Think of it like a murder mystery dinner […]
That is the question. When I went for the follow-up for my head, the doctor basically offered to give me brain meds if I wanted them and my therapist agreed I needed them. I’ve been vacillating, and I feel like I’m doing a lot better than I was, so I haven’t brought it up with […]
Earlier this week, I hit a bit of a low point in a depression-anxiety spiral. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and having been laid up with my period, was feeling guilty and useless for not getting “enough” done, among other things. Reaching out always helps because I have a tendency to go inwards with those […]
Mental health issues are weird sometimes. We can only identify what we have names for, and it took someone else pointing it out to me for me to even realize that I have anxiety, and that anxiety was what was a big part of what was underneath all those feelings and experiences I lumped under the […]
I’ve said it before, but in light of recent events, it bears saying again: ask for what you want, do the work, and more often than not, good things will come to you. Exhibit A: I got an e-mail confirming an interview with Glenn Greenwald next week to talk about his new book about the NSA […]
A Woman at a bank puts items in a safety deposit box. She leaves. A personification of Anxiety follows her. Anxiety: Are you sure you put the envelope back in the box after you checked inside it? Woman: Yes Anxiety: Does the box lock automatically when you shut it and take out your key? Woman: […]
Once I’m feeling overwhelmed, it starts to feel like nothing will ever change and my options for making a difference in my own life are limited. All I can think of are the reasons I can’t do things or why even if I tried it wouldn’t matter because of course I’m just a failure and incompetent at life.
In other words, my brain lies to me.
Stress also makes me feel tired and fatigued, which makes me able to do less because I lack the mental and/or physical energy.
Which only feeds the cycle more.
Because my brain can then say, “See? You can’t even do your laundry or keep up with the dishes or clean the cat box. How will you ever manage X, Y, or Z?”
Then, the stress and guilt from not being able to do even the simplest adult tasks piles onto my other stress and makes me feel even more that I ought to just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head forever.