I’ve been thinking a lot about polyamory lately, and how I fit into it. I’ve been very interested in the idea of queer intimacy since I was introduced to it in graduate school. The idea that there are forms of intimacy which do not make sense to or in a capitalist heteropatriarchy. The ways which […]
Woman
This piece was originally performed for Greetings, From Queer Mountain Episode 37: Woman. I originally had a different piece prepared. I am going through a breakup and I had a breakthrough in therapy yesterday that got me thinking. I have this tendency to twist myself into a pretzel in relationships to make the other person […]
What do you need to bloom?
I’ve had a longstanding interest in gender and sexuality, and the proliferation of new terms to describe gender and sexual orientation I think is a wonderful thing. I first heard the term demisexuality a few years ago on-line, as someone who does not feel sexual attraction without the presence of an emotional bond. The definition resonated […]
What Poly Means to Me
The past few weeks have me thinking a lot about what I want out of relationships, and what I want out of polyamory itself. I have considered myself solo poly because I don’t want to be married or have children or a joint bank account. I’ve also had a lot of bad roommate situations over […]
The Path to Compassion
Like I said, I recently read Pema Chodron’s book When Things Fall Apart. Thinking about the book more yesterday, I realized that maybe I had misunderstood what she was saying. The book talks about feeling forgiveness and compassion when bad things happen to us, and sitting with the complexity of the situation instead of retreating […]
Sitting with Grief
I realize I’ve been seeing this process of grief as something to get through. In the wake of so many large changes and upsets in the past few months, I was beyond ready for things to settle. For things to feel okay. I wanted the grief to go away. I thought if I could sit […]
Loss and Gain
I’ve been through a lot of changes in the past year. Health issues. Job loss. Job gain. New career trajectory. Back in school. Loss of home. Moving to a new home. Trying to do things I’ve never done before that I’m not really sure how to do. And most recently, the loss of one of […]
Things I Should Have Learned in Kindergarten
I’m bad at sharing. I should qualify. Thanks to poly, I’m getting better at sharing people. I’m bad at sharing stuff. And I feel a lot of shame around it. I feel like “good” people wouldn’t care about material possessions. Attachment is suffering. That’s why I don’t think I am a very good Buddhist. It […]
Allergies, Patience, and Friendship with Yourself
I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done this month. After a stressful upheaval the first week in January, I came down with what I think was a terrible case of Cedar Fever. I haven’t had allergies this bad since the fall I moved to Texas. I spent most of a week fatigued and stuffed […]
Review: Come As You Are
Everything you think you know about sex, desire, and sexuality is wrong. Probably. That’s one of many lessons to take away from Emily Nagoski’s new book Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. Combining science and psychology with the stories of women she has helped over decades of […]