Doing better today.

I noticed that when I was keeping busy at work Sunday I felt better, so I forced myself to do some things around the house I didn’t want to Monday. I think it helped.

Getting something accomplished quells the voice in my head telling me what a failure I am as an adult person, because I have proof I can get chores done.

Summer also helps because I hate being sweaty so I actually will shower with some frequency even when I don’t feel like it necessarily.

I’m wondering if my PMS symptoms returning with a vengence was also causing mood swings that contributed to my weekend of feeling sucky?

Hard to say, but my monthlies would explain the fatigue and desire to sleep all day at least a bit, maybe compounded by depressed feelings generally.

Even though I had to pay for the birth control consult at Planned Parenthood because I signed up for the worst marketplace insurance ever by accident, the birth control itself will be free.

Going to try Nuva ring and see how that helps my symptoms. I’m hopeless at taking a pill every day at the same time, so I will see how it goes.

Having to be on birth control sucks, but I can’t deal with days of cancelling plans every month and I can’t really call into work so much or afford to miss it now.

Had a nice visit with my SO. He needed some time to himself so we went longer between visits this time. But in some ways that was nice because waiting made me excited to see him. We also got some extra time in because he came over in the afternoon instead of dinnertime. I think even seeing each other twice a week but for a good, long visit will be better than sleeping over several times a week but without as much quality awake time.

And that will give me a little more time to get my stuff done, too.

I think I just need to balance self-care with making sure I’m not wallowing.

It’s easy to just lay around when you don’t feel like doing anything. And some laying around and rewatching Bob’s Burgers gave me an idea for my next column, so that was nice.

But I think I need to not give in so easily, too. Because making myself do things even when I didn’t want to helped. I cooked and cleaned a little and then I felt better because I was actually *doing* something to help myself.

It’s hard to get over the hump of fatigue, but doing one small thing can lead to doing three or four small things, and that adds up.

I think I just miss having people to talk to. I was thinking that in school you’re in classes so you have these shared experiences with people and you’re all talking about the same issues. I don’t know how to cultivate that in my adult life, but I want to. Maybe start a book club or something?

Even this blog just kind of goes out into the ether.

I need more time interacting with people because when I get stuck in my head for too long that’s when I run into trouble.

I will get a little social time in this weekend, and maybe I just need to make sure I have fun plans with someone who isn’t my SO at least once a week in addition to the time I plan with him. That way I don’t spend so much time alone in my house.

That clearly isn’t good for me.

I have a therapy appointment Monday so we will see how that goes and if this person will work for me.

Not feeling quite as overwhelmed, but just want to keep a handle on my stressors so they don’t get out of control.

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