So, I moved into my new apartment today.
There are still a few things to take over in the morning, but damnit, I’m exhausted.
I hate moving. I hate the packing of boxes. I hate the actual transportation of said boxes. And I hate the unpacking of boxes. If it were up to me I’d never move again.
Well, I suppose it is up to me, actually.
And some things make the discomfort worthwhile.
But I still hate moving.
What I have discovered I don’t hate, however, is the sense of accomplishment I feel now.
I DID something today.
I know this not only because majority of my personal belongings are in a new physical location. I know it because I feel it in my body.
It was hot today and I dread to think how much I must have sweated. I felt the sweat pouring off of me all day long and had to stop repeatedly for water. I overheat easily – especially in Texas. And as much as I hate moving, I hate sweating quite a lot, too.
But now, freshly showered, beer in hand, knowing that this event I’d been dreading for weeks is almost to a close and actually went smoother than I’d anticipated (at least on my end – my roomie’s parents got a flat tire on the way here)… I don’t know. It feels good.
For once, I know I’m going to sleep well tonight, insomnia temporarily at bay.
This feeling might be something else I lost in graduate school. The actual, physical manifestation of the day’s activities written on my body. Being physically tired – not just mentally or emotionally.
I think a lot about “BE-ing” instead of “DO-ing” because I spend a lot of time keeping myself busy and don’t always take the time to recharge or relax that I should. I can “DO” too much at times, or try to.
But it occurs to me now that there are different kinds of doing.
And I knew this.
But it’s easy to forget.
So much of our world now is technological. And as much as I am process-oriented (or, let’s face it, try to be), it can be equally nice to have a finished product. The perpetual “DO-ing” of checking Facebook, for instance, fills up time but leaves nothing accomplished, really, as there will always be more posts to check later.
Even this – sitting here and typing at a keyboard – is different than other kinds of work. When I hit “Publish Post” it’s true that I will have accomplished something. But that something is more ephemeral than the other things that I accomplished today.
Not being in the rehearsal process anymore I’ve forgotten this feeling in my muscles and bones. The physical accomplishment of a task or goal that slows the busy-ness of my brain and lets me sleep.
And it’s true that I stand and move around and accomplish physical tasks at work. But that is also different. In food service my first duty is to the customer; as a result, whatever else I am doing is often interrupted so that I can make food for the next person who steps up to the counter. Which can make it feel like I haven’t really gotten anything DONE because I haven’t FINISHED anything.
I think this sense of completion and accomplishment is currently lacking in my life since my schooling is done for now. And something about physical completion rather than purely mental is also nice.
I will have to think about how to cultivate this feeling more in the days and weeks to come.
You know, after I unpack all my belongings and decide where they go. 😉