Y’all. I did a thing. I’m very proud of myself. I turned my day around. I was at work today and feeling grumpy. I sprained my ankle Monday after class, and even though I had it propped up at work, it was hurting. Injuring my ankle also meant I was behind on the seemingly endless […]
Trauma and the Erotic
cw: sexual abuse, emotional abuse I have this growing realization of this thing that I have to deal with at some point. It’s something I’ve been putting off dealing with for a long time. But you can’t contain trauma; it seeps through the cracks of any container you try to put it in. The spillover […]
The Gardener
About two hours of pulling weeds at a time is all I can stand. Then I need to rest. Our rent house has several big, beautiful raised garden beds in the front and back of the house. The landscaping is one of the things I loved at first sight, and one of the reasons I […]
On spontaneity
I went on a walk after work today. That might not seem like much, but it’s something to me. I had to talk myself into it. The sun was setting and I wasn’t sure whether it would be dark in thirty minutes. You see, if I walk from my house to the end of the […]
The Planner
Today on the playground a little girl ran up to myself and another TA. “So-and-so and so-and-so won’t play with me!” she said. “I keep asking and asking and they keep saying no.” All we could do was validate her feelings and explain that sometimes other kids won’t want to play, and then you have […]
Goals: 2017
I saw this Buzzfeed article earlier in the week and was intrigued. I’d not heard of bullet journals before, but it seemed like something I would be into. Just go read that article and come back because I don’t feel like explaining what a bullet journal is. I already have a passion planner, so the […]
Pushing Through
The past few weeks have been difficult. Not only because of the election. Several members of the poly family have been going through their own crises, and I found myself in the position of trying to hold things down for everyone. I had also just come back from my conference, however, and started a new […]
Yoga and Trauma
I’ve been doing yoga off and on for over a decade. In some ways, tonight felt like my first class. Tonight is the first time in memory that I have not had to abort a sequence to go into child’s pose multiple times during a class. Granted, it was not a flow class, but that […]
Self-Regulation as Privilege
I don’t know if this is the next step, but right now I’m feeling a lot of anger. Especially towards my ex, but also just in general feeling angry about any situation where I was expected to be able to regulate my emotions in a neurotypical way. Because I’ve been living in this stark contrast […]
Everyone has baggage.
Seriously. They do. This is going to be a post about “things I wish someone had told me a decade ago.” (Or maybe they did and I just wasn’t ready to hear it yet. Always possible.) One of the results of growing up in a dysfunctional dynamic is that it is possible to become used […]