The stories we tell matter.
There is a common, popular narrative in mental health. That mental illness is caused by faulty brain chemicals. People with depression have brains that cannot produce enough serotonin. Those with ADHD lack dopamine. This narrative attempts to reduce cultural stigma… Read moreYour brain isn’t broken: Mental health in late capitalism
What appears at first glance to be a party. Upon closer observation, among those in attendance are actually depression, anxiety, insomnia, PTSD, menstrual difficulties, and, of course, the owner of the house. Since the audience has arrived in medias res,… Read morePlay a Day: Chicken and Egg
The stage is filled with staircases. Someone walks up and down, up and down, and down and down and down…. some of the stairs go below the stage itself, and some high above the proscenium. Someone walks in circles up… Read morePlay a Day: Ups and Downs
A woman tries to stay positive while the personification of her depression follows her around, telling her how horrible everything is. Example: Woman: This is only temporary. Depression: Who knows how long it will last? Woman: I may have… Read morePlay a Day: Don’t Believe Everything You Hear
Earlier this week, I hit a bit of a low point in a depression-anxiety spiral. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and having been laid up with my period, was feeling guilty and useless for not getting “enough” done, among other… Read moreLess is More
A woman lies in bed, sleeping. Life moves on around her.
A woman sits under a fuzzy blanket, trying to will the world away.
Once I’m feeling overwhelmed, it starts to feel like nothing will ever change and my options for making a difference in my own life are limited. All I can think of are the reasons I can’t do things or why even if I tried it wouldn’t matter because of course I’m just a failure and incompetent at life.
In other words, my brain lies to me.
Stress also makes me feel tired and fatigued, which makes me able to do less because I lack the mental and/or physical energy.
Which only feeds the cycle more.
Because my brain can then say, “See? You can’t even do your laundry or keep up with the dishes or clean the cat box. How will you ever manage X, Y, or Z?”
Then, the stress and guilt from not being able to do even the simplest adult tasks piles onto my other stress and makes me feel even more that I ought to just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head forever.
I’ve watched this video before, where the narrator compares his depression to a black dog who follows him around. Mine feels more like an estranged relative who decides to drop by for a visit even when they know they’re unwelcome. I thought… Read moreMy Black Dog
I’ve been an emotional person for as long as I can remember. I’m more easily drawn to tears than others. When I feel a strong emotion, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration, jealousy, disappointment, or even happiness, it all seems to… Read moreWhat to Do When You Feel Too Much