cw: sexual abuse, emotional abuse I have this growing realization of this thing that I have to deal with at some point. It’s something I’ve been putting off dealing with for a long time. But you can’t contain trauma; it seeps through the cracks of any container you try to put it in. The spillover […]
What is Love?
Sometimes I feel like English breaks down for me and people are speaking a foreign language. Had dinner with a friend who is going through a break up. They said, of their now ex-partner, something to the effect of, “I love this person, but I am not in love with them. I mean, I care about them.” […]
Relationship Anarchy Means Not Knowing How Many Partners You Have
In the four months since my most recent break up, I’ve done massive amounts of personal growth. When I first came to poly, it was because I fell in love with a friend who was already in a long-distance polyamorous relationship. I did a lot of work to learn about poly to be with her […]
Conflict Resolution in Poly
Sometimes if a relationship implodes, you finally learn to push past your defense mechanisms in other relationships to stop the pattern in its track. Growing up in an emotionally abusive family, I have always been conflict avoidant. My sister and I would take turns keeping the peace, and my role as peacekeeper followed me into […]
What Does It Mean to be Open?
I’ve been thinking a lot about polyamory lately, and how I fit into it. I’ve been very interested in the idea of queer intimacy since I was introduced to it in graduate school. The idea that there are forms of intimacy which do not make sense to or in a capitalist heteropatriarchy. The ways which […]
What do you need to bloom?
I’ve had a longstanding interest in gender and sexuality, and the proliferation of new terms to describe gender and sexual orientation I think is a wonderful thing. I first heard the term demisexuality a few years ago on-line, as someone who does not feel sexual attraction without the presence of an emotional bond. The definition resonated […]
What Poly Means to Me
The past few weeks have me thinking a lot about what I want out of relationships, and what I want out of polyamory itself. I have considered myself solo poly because I don’t want to be married or have children or a joint bank account. I’ve also had a lot of bad roommate situations over […]
Uterine Update
I feel like I should have been numbering these. I’ve been dealing with some personal stress, so by the time I remembered to make my tea, it was mid-week before I anticipated starting my cycle. I started bleeding four days earlier than anticipated. Either it is due to said stress, or my body is reverting […]
Aunt Flo Update
I really need some kind of catchy title for these things. Was more aware of making my rosehip and red raspberry tea this month and drinking it. I played around a little with white willow bark, but you aren’t supposed to mix it with naproxen and I’m on the fence about its utility alone. Also added […]
Uterine Update
Another chapter in the chronicle of my lady bits. This past cycle was a bit worse than the last one, but still better overall. Moderate cramps for two days but bleeding was still down to three days instead of 5-6. More severe mood swings this time around. Kind of getting out of a depression spiral […]