Relationship Web

Our understanding of gender, sexuality, and relationships is always evolving. A friend recently shared a Facebook memory featuring the Attraction Layer Cake (https://cake.avris.it/) and we remarked that it is now dated, but neither of us knew of anything that’s been created since. So I made my own graphic, differentiating between different types of attraction to […]

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to Allyship

I’ve noticed an increase in people claiming that others are engaged in “performative” allyship. Aside from my frustration about the misunderstanding of what performative means, those claiming to see evidence of performativity, even if I take their definition at face value, apply the term to any/all things an ally could possibly do. I see so […]

What does it really mean to talk about “performative” activism?

As a Performance Studies scholar, nothing gets under my skin faster than people talking about “performative activism” on social media. Take for example, this article from the satirical feminist website, Reductress. In this context, individuals use the term “performative” to mean that something is fake, inauthentic, or only for show. That anyone posting about social […]

Catch and Release

I go for a walk in a neighborhood near mine Better than pacing the parking lot of my apartment complex I turn left where it says “No Outlet” Before finishing the last leg to get back to my car. From behind a van lunges a dog, barking. Collar, no leash. I freeze. I turn to […]

On Kindness

This is the only thing I will say, re: Ellen. I *do* think that we should be kind, but what kindness actually means can be lost in nuance. I think that a lot of people conflate kindness with being “nice.” Acting nice is a behavior, being kind is a part of a person’s moral and […]

What to expect from this site

I can only ever speak from my experience. If it has not been clear until now, the thoughts and opinions you find here are my own, and not meant to define anyone else’s experience, or to be seen as universal. I am the expert on my own experience, no one else’s. As I have been […]

Turning Things Around

Y’all. I did a thing. I’m very proud of myself. I turned my day around. I was at work today and feeling grumpy. I sprained my ankle Monday after class, and even though I had it propped up at work, it was hurting. Injuring my ankle also meant I was behind on the seemingly endless […]

2019

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is over. A lot has happened. I haven’t been writing here as much as I try to navigate the shifting identities of writer, performer, advocate, therapist. Each hat influences the other, and I am not sure what the place of this blog is at the moment, or how or […]