Two vagrants sitting by a tree. The first turns to the second and says, “What if life IS the struggle? The pain? The not-knowing of it all? What if we’re not supposed to push past all that to some idealistic future of perfection, but just to live in it?” The second snores, asleep. The first […]
Quarter-Century Crisis
Lately I’ve been struggling with time management. With the bookstore gearing up for conferences and events this fall, I’m having to figure out if I can cut back hours on my other main part-time job. My attention is too divided. It turns out I can’t work three jobs and really be good at any of […]
Inertia
I think I’m suffering from inertia. Like, an object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. This was an especially bad week at work. But even so, I can see the larger pattern now. I’m just so exhausted all the […]
What are the odds?
I’m a pretty introspective person. That’s why I have a blog, for instance. I know that creating narratives is an important facet of human experience, and that how we make sense of our experiences and lives matters. I was re-reading this book I picked up over the summer, Hardcore Zen. And I was thinking that maybe […]
Contientious Objecter
I’ve hardly gotten anything productive done this weekend. Thinking about going to work tomorrow puts my stomach in knots. I might be able to do substitute teaching, but it doesn’t pay well and the work isn’t guaranteed. So if they hire me I still need to find something else to do part-time. And that’s proving […]
A World of Abundance
There are some insights I’ve been wanting to hash out, but I’ve been too sick and brain fuzzy. I woke up this morning with laryngitis and had to call in, so I’ve had the day to rest and sleep. Feeling a bit better, but now whatever I’ve got’s moved from my sinuses to my chest. […]
Paying the Rent
So I’ve really been struggling with my job. I work 10:00-6:30pm with a half-hour commute and leaving early enough to get coffee and get settled in the AM which means 8 hours of getting paid to work really equals 10 hours of my day. I chose that shift so I could theoretically get 8 hours […]
Still at the Crossroads
I feel like a lot of things I have been thinking and feeling and trying to process all coalesced today when I went to get the stuff out of the glovebox and trunk of my car in preparation for it going to salvage. I started sobbing silently as we drove away from the place and […]
Why?
Why? It seems like such an innocent question. Children ask it, after all. “Why is the sky blue?” That’s the one people always reference, right? And most of us don’t outgrow that need to question, that need to know, even when applied to larger questions, like: Why isn’t life fair? Why do people suffer? Why […]