Introduced my lover to Julie & Julia, as it was one of my Christmas presents this year.
Meryl Streep as Julia child is utterly charming. (Seriously, watch it if you haven’t already).
I had forgotten how inspired that movie makes me feel.
I’m doing better about it, but I think I still “should” myself too much.
I know I only have so much time and energy to spend, and I’m always looking for the “right” thing to spend it on.
But then I think of this quote: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
That’s what Julia Child did. (At least the version of Julia Child in the movie).
She was fearless and joyful. She embraced life, and found the good in it. She wanted to find something to do, to be useful, but she ultimately learned to cook because it brought her pleasure.
And then she shared that joy with others.
Sometimes I think I could let myself off the hook more.
Maybe doing what I love can be enough.
Maybe I should stop worrying so much about whether what I’m doing is the most important thing I could possibly do, and worry more about if I feel alive.
I want to feel that joy and exuberance Julia Child felt when she graduated from cooking school, and again when her cookbook was published.
And if I was full of that joy, maybe I’d have the energy for something else, too.
But I can’t do everything.
I’ve been working a lot, and I’m still not sure how to work much less.
I may not have as much freedom to choose as Julia did, without anyone to support me financially but me.
But there is still room – or I can make room – for more performance in my life.
What good am I to anyone half alive?
I’m closer to where I want to be, but I really need to get my priorities in better order.
It’s always been to easy for me to lose track of what’s most important in the sea of what it seems like needs to be done.
Especially with a job that seems to ask so much of me, I need to also make sure I’m not losing my way or losing myself.
I want to be fearless. Like Julia Child. Like Eleanor Roosevelt. Like all those unconventional women I’ve always loved.
Someone once told me to just worry about the problem in front of me.
Sometimes it seems like there are too many of those.
I can’t let other people’s expectations, or my own perception of the hierarchy of acceptable uses of my time, control me.
At the end of the day, everyone wants to feel their life was useful and worthwhile.
I just have to keep telling myself it isn’t selfish to pursue what my heart desires.
That it’s okay to be happy.
That I don’t have to impress anyone or prove anything to anyone but myself.
I need to have more courage in my own convictions.
And also, maybe make some Hollandaise.
Because man, that movie also makes me want to cook.