In the four months since my most recent break up, I’ve done massive amounts of personal growth. When I first came to poly, it was because I fell in love with a friend who was already in a long-distance polyamorous relationship. I did a lot of work to learn about poly to be with her […]
Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am living in a truly egalitarian household. It occurred to me today, as I was feeding the sourdough starter and making pancakes from the extras. One of my roommates had to run out the door, but said, “Please, save me one!” Three feminist femmes living together […]
I’ve been thinking a lot about polyamory lately, and how I fit into it. I’ve been very interested in the idea of queer intimacy since I was introduced to it in graduate school. The idea that there are forms of intimacy which do not make sense to or in a capitalist heteropatriarchy. The ways which […]
The past few weeks have me thinking a lot about what I want out of relationships, and what I want out of polyamory itself. I have considered myself solo poly because I don’t want to be married or have children or a joint bank account. I’ve also had a lot of bad roommate situations over […]
I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done this month. After a stressful upheaval the first week in January, I came down with what I think was a terrible case of Cedar Fever. I haven’t had allergies this bad since the fall I moved to Texas. I spent most of a week fatigued and stuffed […]
I’m ready for an honest, mature, and realistic film portrayal of BDSM and Polyamory. S&M Sally is unfortunately not that film. The film follows the story of a group of friends exploring their sexualities. Jill and Jamie, a lesbian couple, start experimenting with BDSM in their relationship. Jill is supposedly experienced, having been a regular […]
This is the transcript of a piece I originally performed in June of 2015 at Greetings from Queer Mountain, an open mic night in Austin. I have a Master’s degree in Performance Studies. That’s why I came to Texas. I work part-time at a local bookstore, and sometimes we run a vendor booth at local […]
I’ve been watching a Danish comedy (though I question the categorization) called Rita on Netflix. If you don’t want spoilers, (and it’s really good you ought to watch it when you have time to pay attention to subtitles) bookmark this for now and come back to it after you’ve finished Season 2. Watching Rita has […]
As it’s gotten closer to Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and love and labels. My partner and I are polyamorous. But not in the sense of the traditional poly narrative. Polyamory seems to have become more prominent in the cultural consciousness of late, but a lot of our discussions about it still […]
Sometimes nothing can prepare you for the pain of stepping outside the cultural script.
But being able to tell your partner that they’re more important to you than New Year’s Eve, and to hear the same…. that’s worth something. That’s worth a lot. Even if it’s not a midnight kiss.
In a culture which tries to sell us the perfect holiday picture, we can’t lose sight of the fact that the holidays are rarely perfect, even if you’re monogamous.
At the end of the day, I want a relationship, not a fantasy. I want to love an imperfect person and be imperfectly loved in return.