…. to be elaborated on later…

Traffic was “whew!” today… and yesterday, too, for that matter.

Is everyone taking a page from my book and avoiding the highway?

I had a thought today as someone cut in front of me and I decided not to honk at them because I could see how they thought they had enough room….

is a person’s driving style indicative of their overall personality?

Forgive me, I’ve been spending an hour and a half driving 5 days a week so I can’t help but think about it more while I sit waiting to get home.

But what I mean is, I will honk at someone if they are doing something dangerous. Like if I have to slam on my breaks or even hit them strongly to avoid hitting you – you get a beep… a more aggressive beep the faster I have to decelerate.

If someone is really careless or rude but not legitimately dangerous, I might toot the horn. It depends on my own mood and how much of a hurry I’m in and if I can put myself in their shoes and see myself doing the same thing.

But even if I can see myself doing the same thing I will honk if it’s really dangerous.

And I’d expect the same from others.

And if you equate honking the horn with telling someone what to do, are the people who honk for no reason generally busybodies?

Are the people who don’t put themselves in the other driver’s shoes people who don’t empathize with other’s situations more generally?

I think a lot in the car.

And that made me think about something else.

Would that make an interesting art piece?

Like, what if I used my voice recorder from graduate school to speak these thoughts aloud while I drive alone and record them.

For a week.

Or a month.

Every day.

And then made that art?

Call it “Conversations with Myself”

And I could do another one, even, trying to figure out if it’s different driving and riding the bus, for example… what would you notice or think about then?

But driving is an interesting metaphor (to me) for how we relate as humans more generally.

It’s like a visual exploration of otherwise emotional events.

I think that’s something that could be interesting.

I know I have a lot of epiphanies while I drive.

There’s not much else to do.

It’s a kind of meditation I guess – or can be.

There was something else….

I guess, just…

Things have changed a lot.

But I feel good about where I’m going.

Things are looking up.

I feel more creative than I have in a while.

I’m thinking about making art pieces again.

And I’m through the worst of this training time at work so I will be back to a more reasonable work schedule soon and can maybe sleep.

And I am about to move into my own space and start getting a new routine.

I can go to the farmer’s market or get good cheese.

Soon my commute will be shorter, too, and maybe I can work from home at some point.

I am reaching out to theatre’s and can maybe start to volunteer on weekends.

I feel like I am out of that rut I was in for so long and am finally starting to get into a new groove.

Hard to believe I’ve been in Austin almost a month.

Things are rocky now, and I have my moments, but overall, I feel good.

And I haven’t been able to say that for a while.

I can see myself starting to build a life here.

The kind of life I’ve wanted… where I can walk to a coffee shop and maybe, (just maybe) plant a garden in the ground.

Learn to ride a bike; go on walks.

Things like that.

And I can maybe get some artist friends again soon.

And feel like a whole person.

And it’s wonderful.

To have hope.

To think that tomorrow could be better than today, or at least have something good in it.

Something to look forward to.

I have more than one or two things to look forward to in a week now.

And I’m kind of basking in that.

Even if my gas mileage has gone to sh*t. Maybe I could at least make art from it.

Edit: Something else I was thinking of but didn’t remember at the time of posting… that making mistakes is, if not the best way to learn, still a viable and reliable way. Sometimes it isn’t enough for someone to tell us what to do or not to do – we have to try for ourselves, even if it means failing. So how can we learn to be more patient with those who are trying and failing and allow them room to grow instead of trying to foist our perceived knowledge and experience on them? Everyone starts at the beginning, and some of us have had more practice dealing with certain aspects of life and its inevitable difficulties than others.

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